Make It Count

From Elaine's CaringBridge Site

Journal entry by Laura Roberts — 1/2/2016

2015 was a very painful year. Since Elaine was diagnosed on May 14th with Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma we have been battling this aggressive cancer. I have posted updates on this site always trying to keep a positive spin on what we were going through because I am hopeful and I do believe 100% in Jesus and His ability to heal Elaine either miraculously or through the team of doctors and nurses that love Elaine and are doing their very best to get Elaine to remission. My last post was the week before Christmas and almost immediately after that post a series of discouraging events were set off that started with Elaine breaking her toe by running it into the bedpost and ending with Brent, Elaine's father stepping into eternity very unexpected from a heart attack. Our hearts are broken. Elaine misses her Daddy terribly and my heart aches for her and what we continue to have to go through in battling this cancer. Nothing will ever be the same. 2015 has changed everything. The recent scan results are not favorable. We started new chemo and have had two rounds of the new chemo. We have another round Tuesday and then scans to follow. If the next scans do not show that the new chemo is working we will move on to something else to try and slow down this cancer. Elaine is in a great amount of pain that currently is under control with strong pain medication. Pain is what sent us to the emergency room last week that resulted in an unexpected hospital stay. Throughout all of this God has remained faithful. He has seen to it that we have everything that we need. From a scripture that when read pierces me so much that I know that it was meant for me from Him to the many, many people who have helped us and continue to help us as we walk through this journey He has us on. I have truly felt and feel Jesus when I am alone and when I am with the people He has sent to be His hands and feet for us. The most recent verse that has stayed with me is this: We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. This is exactly how I feel. I said to several people in this last week that I know in the depths of my soul that all of this is meant to destroy me. I also know that God can take the worst of the worst and turn it into something good. We can't imagine how at the time but I know that I know that I know it is true. I saw something on FaceBook this morning that was talking about prayer and it was saying that when things get bad and life gets hard that we pray to make it better. This has certainly been true for me. I have prayed and prayed as many of you have also for Elaine to get well and for this cancer to go away from her. I know God answers prayers but I also know that His answer is sometimes no. He is the Great I Am, the Alpha, the Omega. As He tells Job in the Bible, He is the Creator. I don't like it right now but I trust His plan and I trust Him to continue to bring us through as He did in 2015. The article on FaceBook was talking about praying to make it count and not just praying to make hard things better. And so that is my prayer for 2016 that I don't waste the pain of 2015 and that I do something in 2016 to make the pain of 2015 count for something good. After all you overcome evil with good. So we continue to rest this weekend and start again Monday in the fight for Elaine's earthly life. Thank you for continuing to pray for us and especially her as no sixteen year old child should have to grieve for her Daddy and battle cancer at the same time. May God bless each of you in 2016.